I have to tell you that I am having a hard time sleeping lately. Yes, my big belly is getting in the way, but it's also because I am scared. As I layed down last night, all I could think about was how scared I am for the labor and delivery. I am suddenly remembering how painful those contractions are, how still I had to sit for that epideral during those contractions, how Ryan told me about a lady whose epideral only worked on one side and how much pain she was in (he really shouldn't share these stories with me!) and how hard you have to push! It is quite tiring (if I remember correctly).
I think about how excited I am for these 6 weeks to come because I will not have to go see doctors 3 times a week (minimally), but then alternatively I think about how hard nursing was with Josh. I really am hoping this kid comes out sucking. That would be awesome. I think about waking up every few hours to feed and rock. You know, with your first you can "sleep when the baby sleeps", but with your second, how do you handle being up all the time?
These are the thoughts that keep me awake at night. These and many, many more. I can hardly wait, but then again, I'm scared out of my mind. Shouldn't you feel more prepared the more kids you have? I think I'm a lot more nervous this time because I'm more knowledgable. Sometimes knowledge isn't power.
6 comments:
Evverything will be just fine! You will do great and you will have lots of prayers coming your way!
Can you come over? I miss you. We could compare bellies. Half an epidural isn't as bad as you think!!
My first was by far my worst labor and nursing experience. And my second was my best. Is that consoluation? And epidurals are a godsend. Most the time they turn out beautifully. BTW, when the day (or night) comes we are happy as peas to have Joshey over.
Kim, we will definitely be praying for your and your sweet family! I am starting to get a little nervous now. I know it will really kick in in about 2 weeks! When I will be 20 weeks along! That is 5 months!!! I think I am going to have to have a c-section which scares me some too. So, be on the lookout for my panicky posts in the coming weeks too! You are so amazing and I am glad that things are going well for you now, even though you are scared out of your mind sometimes! And I agree, Ryan should definitely keep his experience stories a secret for a little while:)
I've always said that the first time is scary because you don't know what to expect, but the second time is scary because you do know what to expect! I feel for you! For what it's worth, Austin was by far the most difficult all around (labor, delivery, nursing - a complete nightmare, colic, etc.). Macy was better, and Paige was seriously a breeze. I walked out of the hospital thinking that I could have 20 more (I could go into gory details about bowel movements and breast infections, but I'll spare you the horror).
I definitely think part of it was that I knew what I was doing the second time around (especially when it came to nursing), and I had more confidence in myself as a mother. I wasn't as dependent on all the "experts," and I just did what I thought was best. You are an amazing mother! I don't have a crystal ball, and I can't tell you exactly what will happen with this baby, but it will probably be similar in some ways to Josh, but also very different in other ways. Hopefully, the different ways will be easier! Good luck!
The only advice I have is to give yourself a break with two little ones. Allow yourself a little "Survival Mode" time. Who cares if the toilets are dirty! Who cares if you serve cold cereal and grilled cheese sandwiches five times a week (and you can't remember the last time Josh ate a fresh vegetable)! Who cares if Josh starts memorizing videos because the TV is on around the clock! If it's more important for you to nap than wash the dishes - nap! If it's more important for you to do nothing but snuggle with your new little boy while Josh naps - do it! The housework will take care of itself, and life will return to "normal" with a routine before you know it. Give yourself a break and just do what is best for your little, busy family.
Lecture over. :) Love you guys!
Thank you all for the great advice and support! I sure love my blogging friends. :)
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